Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be talking so much about running.
Obviously running is one of the top things on my mind lately with my first marathon only fifteen days away, but I also feel like I’m walking a thin line. Let me explain…
I write this blog a lot for myself. I know that in a way that sounds selfish, but over the past few months I’ve realized that blogging has made me a happier person! I have also found that by writing honestly about my feelings and reading other bloggers do the same that I have really overcome this body image issue.
However, I know that other people read what I write, and I don’t ever want to send the wrong idea. I want the people who read my blog to feel empowered, feel inspired, forget about negativity, whether it’s negative body image or guilt or disappointment…I just want them to feel happy!
Whenever I have given recovery speeches in the past, I haven’t mentioned the fact that I have new (positive) goals of running half marathons, full marathons, and maybe someday a triathlon (can someone teach me to swim and bike please?) I feel like that might send across the wrong message…the wrong message that in order to be recovered and feel okay about my body I need to dive into training plans and long runs. That is definitely not the case, but I could see how it might appear to someone who doesn’t know me.
I don’t want people to think that running five, ten, even twenty miles is normal. It isn’t! It’s part of a plan for something bigger. But I can tell you that the plan wouldn’t be possible if I weren’t in a good place, a healthy mentality.
It’s a thin line that I walk…or run. It’s a little bit of a balancing act. If the scale tips to one side and I find myself not running with healthy goals in mind, and instead running as an unattainable quest for self acceptance with my body and weight, then I would stop. I don’t run to burn calories or because I think I need to lose weight. I would definitely hate (like, really, really, really hate) running if those were my intentions. I run because it’s “me” time. I run to challenge myself. I run to have a healthy heart.
I run because I enjoy it.